Don't Dress Modestly

Ah life in the summer. Isn’t it glorious? Well if you are a reader in the Midwest you definitely think so, but if you are reading from my native homeland of Texas…you probably have mixed feelings. In the past couple of years I’ve noticed an Internet trend that arises with the onset of summer. The modesty posts. Perhaps it was a video or a cleverly written letter, or just a straight up old blog post…but we all saw those, right? Well here’s my version of just such a post. 

Transformation Tuesday: Peter

Transformation Tuesday!

I’m starting a new blog series called Transformation Tuesday. One Tuesday per month you will find stories of transformation on Bird In A Tree. I’ll talk about all kinds of transformation, relational, spiritual, physical—really anything is up for grabs! For this first installment I wanted to feature Peter…as in Peter: apostle of Jesus Christ. I love Peter and I think he is perfect for the first TT post because he is so radically transformed!

Grace & Getting Away With It

“Don’t play with the lamp.”

Click, the lamp turns on.

“Stop touching, it…now.”

Click, the lamp turns off.

“I said stop and then you touched it again. Now you have to get a consequence.”

“But I was just trying to help you and turn it off so it wasn’t on anymore.”

“This time I’m going to show you grace and I’m not going to give you a consequence. But next time you don’t obey the first time there will be a consequence.”

Easter is here

It’s Easter. It is here. He was He is exactly who he promised he would be. More than that! He is who the prophets promised he would be! He is who God promised he would be! Easter is TRUE. 

You have sorrow now, BUT

Sometimes I just feel like giving up on this whole writing business. And with Easter approaching I somehow feel like if I skip out on my Easter posts, then I’m done for good. I can’t imagine a world of writing without an Easter post in it. So since I’m not giving up on writing just yet (I feel like this has to be a normal writing torment right?), here we are.

Hosanna!/Crucify Him!

Today was glorious. It was glorious. Everyone was worshipping. Everyone had joy. Everyone knew we had been given a gift. Not everyone was aware of it, but you’d be hard pressed to find a soul in our community who wasn’t exponentially more joyful. Today creation held church and worshipped and invited us to join in our backyards and on bike paths and at parks and in cars, with windows open and homes refreshed. Today was just a Saturday.

I can’t help but imagine that this is what the weather was like for the Triumphal Entry. I love that people were so eager to praise and bless and honor Jesus. They grabbed their coats, whatever they had and they covered the way for him. They waved palms, which was symbolic of victory over an enemy. People expected Jesus to overthrow a government, but he had so much more victory waiting for us.* This is what we think of when we think on Palm Sunday, yes? A picture of joy and worship and expectations that would be far exceeded. But Palm Sunday should also serve as a warning for us, a cautionary tale of sorts.

Those people who crowded the streets and yelled “Hosanna!” they were the same people who yelled “Crucify him!” only a short time later. Did you know that? That’s crazy right? It seems absolutely asinine that people could so passionately swing from one extreme to the other. But friends, it could have been us. It still can be us if we don’t guard ourselves. You know what the difference was between those who stuck with Jesus and those who wanted him dead? True honest-to-goodness belief. People who "worshipped" him on (what we call) Palm Sunday did so because of what they heard about him around town. They celebrated him because of what they thought he would do for them. They celebrated him because they thought he might be the next big thing. Their adoration was fueled by motives about two inches deep. And when it stopped looking good, when the glamour had faded, when Jesus didn’t meet their vain expectations…that adoration crumbled. If our worship of Jesus is something to make us look better, if we use him to fit in, if we base our belief on our own plans…our insincere adoration will crumble too. And what’s most sad is that sometimes we don’t stop long enough to see that what we are offering is artificial, sometimes we even have ourselves fooled.

I want to be the real thing, to know down deep in my gut that no matter what I LOVE him and I live to see him gain glory upon glory. I want to have a growing disdain for “what makes sense,” for what can be controlled by me, for what I have planned. I want to live in complete trust, trust that grows my love and surrender to whatever God has. Come what may, I won’t find myself standing shoulder to shoulder with the status quo.

*I used the ESV Study Bible for historical insight and highly recommend it!

Love & Friendship

So I guess I’ll just keep writing about Jesus and either this blog will just eventually dwindle down and die or ? I know don’t even know the other side of that equation. Sometimes I feel so frustrated that we are so obsessively application oriented (myself included). Why are the viral posts and articles all about our roles? Why can’t we just enjoy community by way of enjoying Christ together? Is it that hard for us to look beyond ourselves and marvel at Jesus? Is it that hard to lay down my preoccupation with me?

Today I was reading in John 15 and realized that I’ve glazed over this so many times…

         “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.

(John 15:12-17 ESV)

I’ve never stopped to really think through this. I’ve always just seen it as an instruction like “if you love me, do what I command” (which is still true), but I’ve never stopped to think about what happened before that. Jesus literally gave his life so that we could share friendship with God. And so now he is saying “look that’s what the love of a friend compels you to do. It compels you to lay down your own life. So stop doing life your way. Give up your way out of love for your Friend, and live God’s way. Enjoy a friendship with the only friend who has ever gone the distance to love you.”

That’s worth a thousand “Dear young mom” or “What I wish I knew” viral blog posts. I can live wholly and completely through that kind of love.

**I don't think that viral posts about women's roles or marriage or family or anything are bad. In fact upon publishing this post I'm reading through my blogroll all about cooking, marriage, ministry, family, and fashion. I just want to push past the surface temporal things periodically and know my focus hasn't changed. 

Self-Preservation, Anxiety, or Jesus

Sitting down to write when you have no idea what you want to say. What a drag. So instead of conjuring up some halfhearted attempt to say something…I’ll be writing what I’m learning. I’m reading through the book of John right now, along with other women by using the IF Equip website for morning devotions. Lately I’ve been thinking about preservation, more accurately self-preservation. Jesus escapes those who want to arrest him and stone him time after time after time. Something he just straight up walks away from an angry mob, sometimes he hides but he always gets away. But then… Judas. Through him came the most life changing betrayal of all time and Jesus saw it coming. The bible is clear that Jesus was acutely aware of his betrayer. Yet, he does not preserve himself. Jesus even sends Judas out on his evil errand in John 13: 27. Why hadn’t he saved himself at this, the most crucial moment? Well that’s because although he may have escaped mobs and persecutors in the past, it wasn’t out of self-preservation. Every time he escaped it was to the glory of God and the spread of the Gospel. And the same is true as he is “caught” and murdered. He stayed and waited and was willingly captured for the glory of God and the spread of the Gospel. Not even for the spread of the Gospel, for the fruition of the Gospel. He didn’t seek to preserve himself at all. He gave it all. And until it was the time for him to give himself for us, he anticipated that he would. He carried around the knowledge of his torture and death while we ministered. He carried around the knowledge of his torture and death even as he shared dinner with Judas. If Jesus doesn’t prove that we can truly lay down our anxiety for God to carry...nothing does. He didn’t self-preserve and he didn’t live in fear, he did the third thing. He humbled himself, trusted God, and gave every ounce of himself for the Father’s glory.

Such a humbling call to live each day the same way.

Bored with the Radiance of Jesus

If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a blogger it’s this: if you want to see your views at an all time low, just write about Jesus. Even in spite of my suspicion that a large majority of my readers love Jesus, the numbers don’t lie. A large majority of people are bored with Jesus. I know that sounds harsh, but like I said the proof is in the pudding. Now I’ve also come to learn that as a blogger, it is incredibly easy to be driven by yourself and your page views. It would be so easy to write on one of the other topics I love to write about (marriage, family, motherhood, crazy shenanigans, etc.) and then just sprinkle in a little Jesus. But the most important thing I ever promised myself and the Lord when I decided to do this writing thing was that when I feel compelled to write, I write. I won’t let fear or greed or insecurity hold me back and I won’t let ambition morph my love for writing. So as per my promise, here I am.

I know that sometimes people think Jesus is boring, because at times I know I’ve been one of those bored people. But the thing about it is, Jesus isn’t boring. Maybe what I think of him, how I enjoy him, or what I do with him is boring; but not HIM. Jesus was wildly unpredictable during his time on earth. Even the men and women who traveled with him and learned from him were terrible at guessing his next move. Jesus spoke with love and frankness, which is something I think gets lost within the niceties of Christian culture sometimes. He outrageously loved, to the point of offending all the religious people who were watching him. He had his choice of crowds full of people, and yet he chose to spend his time in the home of a fraudulent thief? He showed love and kindness to hookers. I don’t even know a hooker, so this is way outside of my sphere of experiences. I’m sure he constantly overhead whispers of “You just don’t do that,” and if he didn’t I’m sure that complainers found their way to his friends to leave their proverbial comment cards. The vibrant and exciting life that Jesus led for the sake of the Gospel makes it seem silly that we constantly want black and white answers for our growing lists of do’s and don’ts. Jesus saw and lived by the big picture while the people around him constantly had their head pointed straight down at the ground in front of them. As I read through the book of John I find myself wondering how Jesus didn’t snap out of frustration and yell “Stop being so scared that you are going to trip on a bump in the road and get your eyes up. You’re missing it!” I wonder how he doesn’t scream that to me while I’m patting myself on the back for being so good.

While I’m grinning at the handy work of the life I’ve built, Jesus waits for me to throw down my little lantern, to look up, and to run into the sunrise. Jesus doesn’t bother himself with nice things or acceptable behavior, Jesus lives richly, abundantly, graciously, faithfully, vibrantly….and he wants me to join him. Can you believe it? He desires to share his abundance with me. So for when we think maybe Jesus is just boring, I wonder, what is your answer to His invitation? Maybe we haven’t taken him up on his offer for new life filled with color and promise. Maybe we settled for something a little duller and a lot easier to explain to people. Because Jesus gives new life, and he brings the hope of glory to come…he doesn’t do boring. No matter how glamorous or how routine your life is, you have the opportunity to live it in excellence for the glory of Jesus Christ. It’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about how you are doing it and who you are doing it for. It doesn’t matter where you are called, it matters that you are loved enough to be called at all.

Answer him, look up, and live in His radiance.

Through Your Pain, We Love Him More

Have you ever been around some one who is going through something really hard. Like really hard. I’ve had the privilege of walking along side some friends in hard times and I’ve been walked beside and held up by some wonderful friends. In those times, if God gets the glory, doesn’t it just keep you coming back? Doesn’t it make you stop and wait and want to see more of God? As much as you don’t want those trials for the ones you love or for yourself…doesn’t it just make you thirsty? Doesn’t it just show you the most raw and gritty picture of the need and desperation in your own heart? Maybe I’m alone in this, but something about the closeness of Christ in those trials…it speaks to me.

When we go through trials, we find ourselves wanting to know that it’s going to help someone one day. We want assurance that God will actually be glorified. But the glory for God is already there. For those who are hurting and reaching and needing God, for those who are seeking and finding Him right where He promised He’d be…you’ve glorified Him. You have shown so much of the Gospel, you have magnified His name, you have helped us…by your pain. You have helped us by your steadfastness in the face of suffering. It wasn’t perfect or pretty, but it was real and it was honest and it was the widow’s mite. When you sought to love Him as life bruised and beat you, you showed us how desirable Jesus is for us everyday. When you were carried by God and rung out the tiniest bit of faith from your broken heart, you challenged us. Just because there are no speaking engagements or coffee dates or viral blogs to tell your story…you helped us still.

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5, ESV)

When All You've Got Is Jesus

  

When your drained and running on fumes, and the days are long and the winter is cold. Sometimes in those moments Jesus is all there is. When your spouse is crashing down from the week and your crawling out of this week’s pit, there isn’t a lot you can do for each other but hope to meet somewhere in the middle. When the kids are being kids and swinging on your mood swings, the patience runs thin and the energy is low. When the sunset is dull and the coffee is inadequate, then excitement is trampled and survival is the goal. When “run down” and “worn” and “thin” and “empty” are the only adjectives in your mind, where do you go from there?

In those moments, I’ve found myself thinking  “I guess Jesus is what I’ve got today.” I think that to myself as if it’s a bad sign, as if on the days where all I’ve got is Jesus—I’m defeated. But He answers me sweetly “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, ESV)

In Jesus all needful things are laid up for you. Then enjoy your continual allowance. Never go hungry while the daily bread of grace is on the table of mercy.  ~C.H. Spurgeon

When all you’ve got is Jesus, you’ve got quite a lot.

I'm Aching

 Any person in the Midwest is ready for spring at this point. Now take a couple of Texans and plop them into this never-ending frozen tundra. We are ACHING for spring.  When I stare out our back windows and imagine what glory the spring will bring, I could cry. I could seriously cry. In the spring my kids and I can exercise together by going on long walks to the park from the bike path behind our house, we can have play dates out on our deck and in our huge yard, I will finally have 100% of my children old enough to take advantage of our huge yard, Austin and I can sit out on the deck with the fire pit going and read and talk while the sun sets, we can invite “after bedtime” guests to relax on the deck and enjoy the awesome lighting Austin put up last summer, we can take mini road trips to visit friends who live a couple hours away, we can go play at all the free fun Chicago places with our kids….the list never ends. When I think about spring my heart just breaks with anticipation. I love spring so much, I just want it to be here already.

What if I wanted God the way I wanted spring? What if I ached for time with Him with the same anticipation? What if I put all my future hopes on the promise of the bright future He will surely bring? I know I love the Lord. But sometimes I take something as trite as springtime and I think to myself (and…sometimes I maybe say it out loud to every mom of littles I run into) “Once it’s spring everything will be better.” I want to have the same hope and faith and gratitude for the one who made spring, the God who is only good and has only a disposition of goodness and love toward me. I want to have that deep assurance that through Christ, all things are possible, even happiness in winter. I want to live in the faith that in the fullness of His love there is life…but actually really really live that out. Lately, I’ve been living as if it’s ok to be half empty and run down because it’s really really cold out. I’ve been living like all I need is a few consecutive warm days and I could have joy. When the truth is, no matter how cliché it sounds, all I need is Jesus. I’m making the decision. I’m replacing my ache for spring with an ache for steadfast joy, with an ache for Jesus. If you are physically living in the frozen tundra as I am, join me in my quest for joy! If you are stuck in a season of life that is bitterly cold, I’m so sorry and I’ve been there. Know that Christ offers warmth in seasons of mourning and darkness and difficulty that far exceed the frigid wind of life whipping around you. You WILL feel the sun on your skin again. Until then bundle up with the Word of God and find treasures hidden in the snow, they are there. I promise.

The Greatest Arrival

We’ve been reading through the Jesus Storybook Bible with our kids (which I would suggest even for people with no children!). We are still in the Old Testament and each story has some mention of our need for a savior, our inability to rescue ourselves, or the prince to come. I love it. It gives me such a deep appreciation for the intense waiting period that creation endured. Reading bible stories in that context gives me a feeling of connection to that waiting period. Of course, I’m not super super old (note that I’m not even about to put a number on that…this isn’t that kind of blog people, take your debates elsewhere) and I wasn’t there literally waiting for Jesus. But I am a part of the carefully crafted creation that has a deeply sincere need and longing for redemption. My debt of sin piling up and swallowing me whole, just like everyone before and after me. Even before I was aware of it, I carried my yearning for reconciliation and peace with God like an anchor tied to my soul. And because of mercy and grace, my souls breathes and my heart beats new life.

 The birth of Jesus is about the arrival of the Good King. The true, noble, faithful, ruler who walked among us has come! It’s when all of creation sighed in relief and then filled its lungs to sing the highest praises. For generations, the faithful waited. The birth of Jesus is where anticipation meets fulfillment.

So let’s rejoice.

He came, He came! He came just like He promised. Our waiting is over. All this struggle and all this yearning, now breathes relief. We have a Savior! We know His name. And we are His people! He adopts us into his family as children. We are welcomed into the blessed family of Christ to join His kingdom forever. We have a beautiful inheritance. And this day that we celebrate each year; it marks the beginning; the beginning of hope, the beginning of GRACE.

Like A Sojourner

3 He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,  Hebrews 1:3

The morning after our nine month old barely escaped stitches from a fall on my watch, I clung to the covers gripped between guilt and fear. It was all I could do to stay in bed and replay my worries like a bad vacation slide on repeat. Guilt, because like I said, he was under my care when he fell. A million doubts and comparisons filled my mind. Do I give my kids too much freedom? Would this have happened to So&So who is much more cautious than me? Fear, because I taught myself to memorize the creeping doom of the realization that what seemed like nothing, was actually something serious. When our firstborn, Lyric, was three weeks old he had unexpected surgery to correct a condition called Pyloric Stenosis. A surgery that he probably needed earlier than he got, all because I kept insisting that he wasn't spitting up as much as it seemed like. I was so determined not to be the mom who freaks out, so determined to keep my composure. Granted, he still got the treatment he needed and he was totally fine. But any time one of my kids is sick or hurt, I’ve never escaped that little voice in the back of my mind that whispers "But remember that one time?" 

Under the sheets that morning I begged like a sojourner at a stranger’s door. I pleaded for Him to shelter me and protect me from my fear. Like a blizzard blowing in cold and quick, it was chasing me and closing in on me. I begged that He would let me in to warm myself by the glow of His radiance. I was nurtured by the very moment the door began to crack open. Overwhelmed by the senses of Home, the sounds of laughter and life, the taste of hot biscuits and honey, I knew I would weather the storm. I was affectionately taken in and had forgotten about the threats of the cold lies that blew violently against the windows.  The panes could rattle and shake all they wanted, but I was safe now. I was out of harm's way and could take off my mittens and all my layers, and sit, welcomed by a fire that had a place for me.

The wasteland of guilt and fear will always be ready for me. It will always be beckoning me to come out and dwell there; to let my comparisons and my doubts run wild. I’d never be alone in the wasteland, because some of you are there. Some of you got lost in the storm and it took everything from your heart. It took the joy of motherhood and replaced it with a measuring stick. It took the affection of a home filled with love and replaced it with rigidity and routine. It took the thrill of life and traded it with safety and comfort. I’ll miss you, but I won’t join you there. Come join me here, take a blanket and cover yourself with grace. There’s a spot here at the fire for you too.

Stories: My story

This new series was born out of inspiration. Our small group has been starting off the year by sharing testimonies from each couple one week at a time. Since we are a new group, this has been such a great time of getting to know each other beyond the surface. And by great time, I mean it has been awesome. We have also found ourselves making some new friends as well as getting to know old ones a little better. There have been so many stories exchanged over the pasted few months. It’s made me get the itch for a few good stories. I’m starting with the most important one, and from there…they are in no particular order. If there is one story from my life you need to know, it is this one.

My family always went to church and I knew that my parents loved the Lord. Every morning before school I woke up to my mom putting on her make up in the living room while she watched the news with her bible study book open to the day’s study she just finished with her bible and journal stacked over it. On car rides home from youth group I would talk about certain worship songs from the night and if the lyrics for some reason didn’t sit right with me. My dad used that as an opportunity to try to explain basic theology to me. I vividly remember my dad driving on this huge dark curve in the road near Berry Middle School while he explained TULIP to me, and where our family stood with Calvinism. So now that I have gotten a little ahead of myself on the timeline, you can see that faith was a staple of my life as a child and teen.

When I was seven, I decided I was ready to follow Jesus. It’s funny because I don’t remember where I heard the gospel for the first time, but I knew that you had to pray and talk to God about it. Another thing I don’t remember any detail about is that for some reason my mom had been babysitting a couple of kids for a short amount of time in our tiny duplex. I remember being the oldest and announcing that I was going to become a Christian and asking who wanted to pray with me. Later that day I told my parents, and they decided that I should sit down with them and our pastor and talk about what that meant. Now that I think about it, it’s really sweet and touching that our pastor would do that. Our church wasn’t enormous (at the time), but it was still pretty big. I can picture the conversation with Pastor Steve happening in two different places. I vividly remember sitting in a conference room around a huge, long, shiny, cherry wood conference table. But I also remember eating Fritos in a plastic bowl on our tiny concrete porch, waiting for Pastor Steve to arrive at our home. So like I said, I don’t remember the details well at all. I do remember this little booklet that illustrated a little stick person (me) and the word “God” on two cliffs facing each other. The only way to get across the divide was by Jesus who would bridge the gap. I carried that little booklet with me everywhere. After I prayed with my dad, and knew for sure what I was actually praying about…I looked at that booklet with such happiness because I knew I was on the other side.

It wasn’t until much later in life that I was able to discern between wanting to look good for people and wanting to BE good like Jesus and for Jesus. At my last summer camp after my senior year of high school, there was a worship night out in the mountains in Colorado in May surrounding a big wooden cross. I don’t remember any of the sermon that was preached that night or any of the songs we sang. What I do remember is kneeling face down in the dirt, praying and feeling absolutely overwhelmed that Jesus, being who he was, endured death for me, just as I was. I think it was the first time as a young adult that I really let myself think deeply about the pain and sacrifice of the gospel. I will never forget the beauty of that moment. As I lifted my head from prayer, I looked up to see snow flurries falling down. I know that in Colorado, especially in the mountains, it probably isn’t that crazy for a few snow flurries to fall in May. But to me, it was like hearing God say “I’m so glad your mine.”

When I went to college, I was working out the difference of “God the Savior” to “God the Lord of all my heart and life”—I just didn’t know it yet. I had grown up my whole life with a special needs sister, and had no idea how deeply ingrained her life was into mine. I didn’t realize how different our family was, I didn’t realize how much harder it was for us to get out and do things; I didn’t realize how far reaching the differences in our daily life really were. When most kids go to college they get kind of intoxicated with the bliss of their freedom. When I went to college I got that…and then I got mad. When I realized how much freedom and spontaneity were missing from my life and my family’s life, I was mad. When I realized that my sister would never experience the ecstasy of independence that I had, I got mad.  When I realized that most people are naïve, and lots of people are plain ignorant about anything outside of perfect health, I got mad. I had many crying, screaming, ranting conversations with God. But you know what? It was the first time I had passion in my relationship with God. I kept pushing to find the Truth and find Jesus and find goodness in the midst of my confusion. There were moments I wondered if Christianity was just a cult that threw clichés solutions at trite little problems. I wanted to find the people who fought for the hard answers, I wanted to find the churches that went further than emotion, I wanted Jesus to be real and I wanted him to give me some answers. One day in the car, waiting to pick up a friend from the dorms…I got my answer. It came clear as a bell. And you know what? It brought peace beyond my understanding…because honestly when you see what it was…you will wonder why it didn’t just make me more mad.  For the (probably) one thousandth time, I shook my proverbial fist at God and asked “Why her?!” And then it came. “Because I’m bigger than her. You need to see that I’m bigger than all of it.” And that was it. As painful as it was to hear, the truth is that God is no less God because my sister has special needs and He is no less God because I don’t get how it all adds up in the end. That was when I started believing that God hadn’t forgotten or overlooked us. That was when I cracked the door open just a little bit, to believing that God could still be a big sovereign God and be good and be loving, and not heal my sister.

I want to be very clear that my process was not an over night thing. But this was the catalyst of change for me. This was when I took ownership for my own relationship with the Lord, regardless of how it looked to the outside world. This was when the grace of God stopped being about checking boxes and starting being about authenticity. Over the next few years, there were a few more catalysts of change for me. Transferring to a large liberal state school changed my approach to spiritual discipline. Moving across the country to do ministry with my husband changed the way I viewed obedience. And the list goes on.  I struggled very much when I started writing this out, because I wanted to plump up some parts and make sure that people saw that just because my story wasn’t dramatic, didn’t mean it wasn’t interesting. But the truth is that my story is somewhat simple, and yet still miraculous. This is the story of my soul’s life. 

MOVE: Disillusion to Certainty

 Tonight I can't shake this undeniable burden for those who are disillusioned.  What I mean is, I've been really burdened for those people who are in the in-between. The only thing harder than change is waiting for it. Knowing and hoping that there is something new around the corner, but not knowing what. It's not just that you don't know what the change is, it's that you don't know when it will start or what it will look like. What about it will be wonderful and what about it will be painful? What will feel right and what will take some time to get used to? And the scariest question of all, What if I miss it? What if that change is staring me right in the face and waiting for me to make a move and I just...miss it? 
This series is titled MOVE and not switch, or flip, or change. It's called move because I think that is what all of us are really facing. Life is constantly moving us and sometimes we are moving it. Anyone who has known Christ long enough has known the constant movement and the ups and downs that change us forever.
I wish this post was something more concrete. I wish that for those of you who are waiting and hoping and ready, but not yet sure that I could somehow give you the next step. But I will promise you something far greater. I promise you with my whole heart, that I'm praying for you. I know all too well how difficult the road unplanned can be to travel. I remember begging God for some certainty. For anything that was sure and steady and real and unshakable. But He is that for you. When the next step is vague at best, know that you always have a steady trustworthy foundation. Don't let anything or anyone make you forget it. Not everything is muddled up. Jesus will never be disillusioned about your life. Take heart loved one. Take heart and have faith.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Seize the [Palm Sun]day!

Today is the first day of Passion Week. If you have followed my blog, you know that I love and I mean LOVE Easter. It's my favorite holiday.

Every year on Palm Sunday I find myself admiring the very first followers of Christ, those who were there to welcome Jesus by waving palms and shouting "Hosanna!" They believed that this man from Galilee would be their king. They believed he was worth worshipping unashamedly. They seized the moment to praise him and show him honor. I'm sure that some people looked at the crowd greeting Jesus as a bunch of crazies. I'm sure that it wasn't popular to praise the name of Jesus. But those who knew of his works and his teachings and choose to follow him, they participated in an act of worship that we still recognize today. They seized the moment and praised his name. Can you imagine it? And just to think...they didn't even know the half of what he would do. In the moment of their worship He had not yet died and been resurrected as the substitute for all of mankind. The best was yet to come. I would hope that I would have been one of the believers in that moment. I would hope that knowing what the scriptures taught and recognizing the greatness of the humble man of Jesus would have been enough to captivate my attention, heart, and life.

Many of them expected him to rise as a military and political leader and king. The stage was set; expectations were in place. Something great was going to happen in a matter of days. No one knew it then, but their expectations would be shaken and very far exceeded. And to think it was all just around the corner.

The next day the large crowd that had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. 13 So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!” 14 And Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, just as it is written,

15“Fear not, daughter of Zion;

behold, your king is coming,

sitting on a donkey's colt!”

16 His disciples did not understand these things at first, but when Jesus was glorified, then they remembered that these things had been written about him and had been done to him. 17 The crowd that had been with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to bear witness. 18 The reason why the crowd went to meet him was that they heard he had done this sign. 19 So the Pharisees said to one another, “You see that you are gaining nothing. Look, the world has gone after him.” (John 12:12-19, ESV)

When God Opens Doors

In my mind today begins springtime. I had a glorious night of sleep, and woke up happily (which doesn't ever happen) and today the high is 50. So even though it will be cold again in a day or two, and even though I probably won't be sleeping through the night again for a while, I'm going to embrace it today! 

This morning as I was reading through Acts (more like re-reading what I read through far too quickly to catch up with my bible study at church), something really small stuck out to me in a really big way. I was reading Acts 12, which is largely centered on Peter’s imprisonment and escape/rescue. I’ve read this before; it was not a new story to me. But verse 10 held my attention this time.

            [10] When they had passed the first and the second guard, they came to the iron gate leading into the city. It opened for them of its own accord, and they went out and went along one street, and immediately the angel left him.

(Acts 12:10 ESV)

The iron gate opened of its own accord. This ­ made me think of when people talk about God opening doors in their life. This seems like where that analogy must have started. But before the gate opened an angel came and gave Peter VERY specific instructions.

1.   Get up quickly

2. Dress yourself

3. Wrap your cloak around you and follow me

4. Then the gate opened for Peter

Applied to my life, I think this would look like…

1.   Be ready. Whether sleeping or awake, always be ready.

2.  Arm yourself, equip yourself with the necessities: A relationship with             Christ, sensitivity to Holy Spirit, knowledge of God’s word.

3.   Do what you need to do to be able to follow well so that you don’t have to worry. Like a cloak, wrap yourself in God’s protection so that you don’t have to worry when the time comes.

This escape from prison struck me especially because an open door doesn’t always indicate God’s will in your life, as it did for Peter here. Later in Acts 16 we see another set of prison doors miraculously opened for Paul and Silas. It would have been so easy for them to take that miracle as God’s will and provision for them to escape. After all, the earthquake that shook open the doors happened while Paul and Silas were in the middle of prayer and worship. But instead—but instead it was God’s will for them to stay and persevere and sacrifice so that the jailer would come to know the Truth and be saved. It was God’s will for those doors to open, but it was equally God’s will for them to stay and not walk through those open doors. Later they were released, but not nearly as dramatically or supernaturally (so it seems).

So how did Paul and Silas know that they should stay put?

1. They knew the Lord intimately.

2.  They did not receive instructions to leave.

3. Leaving would have brought harm to their guard.

4.   Staying meant seizing the opportunity to share the gospel with the guard and his entire household. It meant making the most of the relationships in their lives at that moment.

But for Peter—he was just sleeping. It would be simpler to believe that God was rewarding the ones who stayed up worshiping and praying. It doesn’t really make sense that Peter gets rescued, but the others don’t. But God isn’t simple. He doesn’t work the way we work. 

How did Peter know it was God’s will to escape?

1.   He received specific instructions.

2.    He wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not, but choose to follow God’s instruction regardless. He followed one step at a time. Once he awoke and had in fact been rescued from prison, he said “Now I am sure…the Lord rescued me” (v11)

 When it comes down to it, there is no easy answer or formula for knowing what God’s will is for your life. God doesn’t open doors based on what it seems like we deserve. God is not limited to the simplicity of our minds. We can’t discern God’s will based on what we would do if we were Him. We can only discern God’s will by the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s word and familiarity with His character. At a moment’s notice we may be called to go or we may have to make a split second decision to stay. Just because a door is open in front of us, doesn’t mean that walking through that door is what we are being called to.

The bottom line is this: Am I equally ready? Ready to make an escape? Ready to stay put?

What ≠ Who

I think that there are things that God puts in place to spur on and encourage and push our gifts and talents forward; cultivating whats already there. A major "pusher" (haha "I'm a pusher Cady," name that movie) for my writing is spending time musically worshipping, especially under my husband's leadership. He is such a vital part of the writing process for me, but I'm going down bunny trails now. 

Last night at church we sang the new Chris Tomlin song, "Jesus, Son of God" and one particular line of it really got me thinking. 

"Be lifted higher than all you've overcome

Your name be louder than any other song....

The cross was enough"

I started to realize how often I associate who Jesus is with what he has done. Maybe I'm alone in this, but sometimes in my mind it goes like this:  

My collection of redemption = Jesus

Maybe that’s confusing. Think of my collection as all the evidence of the grace that has been poured out on me. Everything that has been saved and transformed and redeemed would be in there. I'm so thankful for my salvation, my sanctification, all the sins and trials that Jesus put to death. I love love LOVE hearing the testimony of other believers; I love hearing what Jesus is doing to change lives. But here’s the thing—all those things, still don’t add up to who Jesus is. Jesus isn’t the sum of our testimonies.

Jesus is Jesus. Jesus is one third of the Triune God. Jesus is the perfect one who lowered himself to dwell among us. Because of him we have freedom. Because of him we have life. Because of him we have ABUNDANCE. We benefit from his life, his death, and his resurrection.

Let’s share the stories of salvation and redemption with everyone! But let’s never neglect to say His name. The name of the one who saves. The name of the one who is Holy and Righteous, regardless of what he has done in our lives. The God who stands alone.  Let’s never trade who He is for what He has done. Let’s never shy away from saying His name: Jesus. 

Relate, sisterfriend

My husband always says that God gave us two things to make life here on earth more bearable. The first being martial relations (that's marital people, if you aren't married then you need to wait and see) and the second being good food (like really-good-takes-hours-and-hours-and-lots-of-love-kind-of-food). But I think that we have three things, and I think that the third is relationships. Not just every relationship, but the ones that make you better and the ones that push you forward. So here is my first post of my "relate" blog series, which is a conglomeration of odes, if you will. And today it's about the sisterfriend. I'm so thankful for my cherished sisterfriends, you gals know who you are and I hope you can one day know just how much I cherish your friendship.

I'll admit this is a little greeting card-esk, but let's face it--who doesn't sound mushy when they describe the people they love.

A sisterfriend will brave that dreaded hour of "crying it out" with you during nap time at your house so that you can chat over coffee. A sisterfriend will meet you in the midst of your pain and cry with you and pray over you. A sisterfriend goes on walks with you and lets you vent about that thing that's "just hard right now" during the first leg of the walk and brings you back down to earth and to the feet of Jesus during the second leg. A sisterfriend brings you flowers right before they bud because she knows that more than anything, you need to see the promises of spring unfolding in front of you. A sisterfriend knows and loves that your man comes before her and always will. A sisterfriend knows you, loves you, and cares; that is the meat and potatoes of the most meaningful gal pals I've got. Just showing up and knowing, loving, and caring.