Sunday, September 5, 2010

Awake

Last time I wrote a little blog, my little babe was crying and screaming and not sleeping. Here we are again. Undoubtedly, it was a cruel childless person who invented the baby monitor. Unless you are completely deaf or live in a mansion there is no missing what is going on in there, but since we have the monitors of course I'm going to use them...just in case. But, this blog has much bigger fish to fry than ranting about crying it out moments.

Awake. Every day here I feel a little more of it. Living within the call that God brought to our lives 8 short month ago, is utterly fulfilling to say the least. You know when you wake up from a weird dream (like say you and your husband are driving in your father-in-law's nice new truck and then accidentally drive right off a nearly finished construction site thingy into a large and deep body of water and have to swim to the surface in the pitch dark...just for example) and you wake up, but not really, and you are so completely confused and definitely disgruntled? That is what life was, how it felt at least for awhile. Then you have those nights where you sleep like a baby (if you have the sleeping type that is) and wake up refreshed, prepared, and one could even suggest...jubilant. That is what life is. I know that I still have a life time of sacrifice and difficult times ahead, but in the last 8 months (pregnancy, loss of my job, Austin's transitional and income-less couple of months, living with friends and family,having Lyric, enduring our first child's first surgery, Austin's new job, moving, new friends, buying a house) I have seen God's promises come to realization. And I have experienced (for the first time out of what I hope and plan to be many more) the complete and full joy that comes from picking up my cross and following Him.

I've been putting off writing this blog, I think because it felt weird to me. It felt like bragging about my great life. Then it dawned on me, how does being embarrassed about His abundant grace glorify Him? It doesn't. If you have known Austin and I any length of time, I hope that you know that no aspect of our life now is any result of US. There is no reason that we should be where we are with what we have and no way that we could have worked hard enough to make it happen ourselves. God is good. God is gracious. God knew the inner most depths of our hearts, even we didn't.

1 comment:

  1. i don't remember exactly what i typed the first time, (and maybe it got sent to your spam box by accident!). But like i said before, it was something like this:
    I have no bitter envy towards you, just a glorious jealousy! Oh to have that complete joy of planting each foot firmly in a footprint much larger than your own while carrying a cross graciously placed on your back.

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