Fighting the More Monster

I'm currently typing to you from the cutest possible blog writing senerio, sipping coffee looking out the huge windows of my in-laws' "flat" in eastern Europe. We love it here. The culture just fits us, Austin keeps saying he was born in the wrong country. Outdoor cafes literally line the streets, all the food is amazing as well as fresh and natural, the people enjoy each other's company and work to live (unlike Americans who live to work). But amidst all the picturesque people, places, and things there is an ugly dark spot for me...and it's growing.

So sometimes as a young married, new parent, and stay at home mom I chat with other women in any or all of these categories about saving money. I love the idea of being thrifty and I sort of pride myself on it. I don't care about name brands and I love shopping at outlets or TJ Max kind of stores. So as a spender...I save money. But when it comes down to it, I would save a lot more money if I wasn't "saving as a spender" I would save money if I was avoiding spending altogether. But who wants to do that? Well my friends, I have come to discover that there are wondrous women out there who can nonchalantly and honestly say "I just don't need more stuff." Uhh..seriously?! Seriously, you don't want more? Dang. I was hoping that this was just a human-nature kind of thing or at least a woman-nature thing. Because I want more. I always want more stuff. I guess it took me this long to realize it because I'm not concerned about the social-status of my stuff...but nonetheless I still want stuff. I want new trendy outfits, I want housewares, I want furniture, I want practical stuff, I want unique stuff, I want baby stuff, I want decoration stuff, I want kitchen stuff, I want shoes, I want the perfect pair of jeans, I want loose fitting shirts that somehow simultaneously make me look skinnier, I want outdoor stuff, I want garden stuff, I want hardcover books, I want an e-reader, I want new music, I want intellectual stuff, I want organizational stuff, I want it all. I'm a monster.

Bleck just writing all that made me so grossed out. And reading it over for a proof read made me even more disgusted. So instead of chasing the more monster I'm going to try really hard to chase "enough." I think that sometimes people see the word "enough" as a bad thing, like it really means "just scratching the surface." But I think it means "yea I'm good, and this is good." When I abandon my "I want I want I want" I realize that I am good and this is good. So here's to having an amazing husband, a joyful baby boy, coffee in the mornings on the deck, and  breezy evenings eating Dairy Queen blizzards with good people. And you know what? It is enough. I guess thats the secret all those wondrous women knew, chasing enough--pursuing it, embracing it, and cherishing it.