Thoughts on surrender

So far I am still pondering over my next actual blogpost. However, I came upon this quote from Beth Moore's study "To Live is Christ" and recently shared it with a friend. It just keeps floating around my mind and I think that this is valuable for so many of us. Thinking of surrender in this way is so foreign to me, but I absolutely love it. I hope that this tid bit serves you as it has me.

"We sometimes feel as if we're playing tug of war with God. In bitter tears, we sometimes let go of the rope, tumble to the ground, and cry, 'Have your way, God! You're going to do what you want anyway!'

Please recognize that God is not playing a game. He wants to say yes to us so badly. He knows how desperately we want some of the things for which we are asking. God doesn't jerk on the rope just so He can win. In fact, He doesn't want us to let go of the rope at all. Rather than see us drop the rope and give up, He wants us to hang on and let Him pull us over to His side.

God's will is always best even when we cannot imagine how. Surrendering to His will does not mean you lose. Ultimately, it means you win. God does not want you to feel defeated when you realize He's overruled in a desire of your heart. God is not asking you to give up. He's leading you to give over. Keep hanging on to that rope and let Him pull you over to His side. One day you'll understand. And you'll see His glory."

God has a southern twang.

Ever since I started doing the Beth Moore study, To Live is Christ, the Lord started sounding a little different when he spoke. As a southern girl, plucked out of the south and planting new roots in the midwest, getting to spend a little time with a truly southern woman via video lessons each Tuesday morning is a treat. I love southern twang, in fact I wish mine was stronger sometimes. More than southern twang, I LOVE southern attitude. Which brings me to the Lord's voice. Lately, God has had a southern twang about Him. Two examples, and hard life lessons:

1. Recently some friends from Texas came up to visit. So of course all the long term plans for decorating our home became short term plans in my mind and heart. You know how it is, you want every project done, every decal and frame hung in its proper place. So, we have this big (and oddly lightweight) old brown frame. I decided that it would look awesome hanging on our bathroom mirror (right in the middle to give a little more ambiance). I looked it up online and found that all I needed to do was glue it with epoxy glue. So, being the thoughtful woman I am, after Lyric's four month shots and home with no other helpful adults to assist me, I decided that this was the time for that little project. (I know, its so obvious...just wait until Austin gets home!) As you can imagine the project was a flop for many many reasons. Now the only ambiance our bathroom has is the huge glops of glue all over the mirror. The next day armed with Goo Gone, I scrubbed that mirror for two hours (during nap time, I wised up a little). I scrubbed and scrubbed. And you know what I heard? "Girl, you can scrub that mirror as much as you want, but until you get that heart right it won't matter...even if you do get the glue off." My heart was so set on getting all my cool stuff up and looking good and impressing our friends. How could I be so blind? The gift of hospitality wasn't given to me because I know how to decorate on a dime, it was given to me because I love having people in our home. I love the warmth that comes from sharing a meal with friends. I love using our physical home to be a ministry to others. And so, our mirror is riddled with dried glue, but my heart is joyful.

2. I started doing yardwork. I know, its laughable. I am such an amateur, but I'm trying and I'm enjoying it. I was cleaning up our flowerbed and discovered that we have terrible weeds. Knowing the little bit of gardening that I do, I know that you have to attack the root of these things. Its not enough to pull off those ugly leaf things and call it a day. So I dug and I dug and I dug. As I was breaking a sweat and beginning to grunt, I heard that sweet and strong and now southern voice. "Girl, you have to get it at the root. We're gonna have to do this with your sin." Enough said. I'm becoming excited to brace myself for the uprooting of some nasty roots of sin.

As much as I love this new southern twang speaking to my heart, sometimes my Loving God still whispers gently to me.

Naptimes have gotten a little tricky and a little emotional around here lately. Lyric is a champ at rolling over, but at naptime he can't keep himself from rolling and getting stuck in a corner of the crib. Then he just cries and cries. Today (with the advice of losts of helpful moms) I decided to just let him figure it out and check on him lots to make sure he was ok. But I wouldn't get him out of the crib, he has to learn how to nap with this new found ability to roll. So I did it. And eventually it was a great nap. Then when he woke up (at the appropriate time) to eat, he of course cried and cried. I made a bottle and then went to go get him. My sweet and typically smiley boy was redfaced with big tears streaming down his face. I picked him up and told him "Baby baby, I always hear you when you cry, but I have to do whats best for you." My sweet sweet Savior. I hear you.